I have nothing against porn. I also have nothing against PSPs. However, I do think it odd that chuckleheads around the world think that for some reason, PSPs and porn should go together. Maybe it’s that small electronics are sexy, so having a video display unit playing porn is doubly erotic. Somehow I doubt it. Certainly, visions of people wandering off to the bathroom stalls to get in some, uh, gaming time come to mind.

Yes, the PSP has a big beautiful color screen…for a handheld. It’s a 4.3″ screen that sports a 480×272 pixel resolution (nerd alert!). The widescreen aspect ratio is nice for watching videos on the road…but when was the last time you were on a roadtrip when you said to yourself, “You know what would make the time pass faster right now? Looking at some porn!” I can just imagine what a conversation starter it is for you to be watching some hardcore gangbang video in coach on a cross-country flight. That might get someone to trade for your aisle seat.

Nonetheless, the desire apparently exists to check out some psporn. Even Playboy is jumping on the bandwagon (not their first foray into digital device content). By the by, if you’re thinking about checking out the free sample Playboy content, don’t. Maxim could make more titillating stuff than that free sample. The six pictures and sample video clip they offer were so tame, I showed them to my wife who commented, “I’ve seen more explicit stuff on NBC.” She might be right.

Though it’s not as easy as it should be, it’s not really all that difficult to get content onto a PSP. You might have to do a bit of the work yourself, such as sizing pictures to the right resolution, or converting the video yourself, but it’s not exactly rocket science. When you plug in the PSP, it shows up as a hard drive. If you can’t figure it out from there, you might want to consider switching to jacks.

Yet, people continue in this newly expanding field. Through the amazing power of hackery, it’s possible to go online with your PSP. See above on screen resolution for why this might not be desireable (anyone who’s surfed the web on their phone is already familiar with why this sucks). This leads us to the strange entrepreneurship of people wanting to be first to market with a PSP porn site. Like Playboy above, they’re aiming to get people to sign up and spend money, to get a steady stream of racy pictures and video to their gaming system. Weak.

Perhaps I didn’t emphasize that last point enough. It’s a gaming system. It’s meant to play games. Lumines is a pretty good game. Give that a whirl. Or, if you want your gaming system to do something besides games, why not convert a DVD to watch? It can be a porn DVD if it makes you feel any better.

If I want to surf the web, there’s a perfectly good computer sitting at my desk. Just because I can surf on my PSP doesn’t exactly mean that I necessarily should, unless I really do want to go blind (because of looking at the small screen, not for…ah…forget it).

So it goes. I can’t believe there’s a market for this stuff. Yet, by listening to mad ramblings on the Internet, it would appear there is some demand. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go wash my PSP. It feels a little dirty.

“Who’s my pal, Ricky? Hmm? And what are you, Ricky, Bishop Sheen? What the fuck are you, Mr. Slick? Who– What the fuck are you, ‘Friend to the working man’? Big deal! Fuck you! You got the memory of a fucking fly!”

Ah, Glengarry, Glen Ross. It’s a curse fest from the playright David Mamet, showcasing the cutthroat dog-eat-dog world of sales. Over the weekend, I decided to check out the rendition of the play at the Royale Theater. It promised to impress — the cast included names such as Alan Alda (Hawkeye Pierce on “M*A*S*H”), Liev Shreiber (Scream 2 and 3), Jeffrey Tambor (Hank Kingsley on “The Larry Sanders Show”, father on “Arrested Development”), Frederick Weller (Armageddon), Tom Wopat (yes, the Tom Wopat, Luke from “The Dukes of Hazzard”), and Jordan Lage (State and Main). There seems to be a push for actors and actresses to do broadway shows, which I guess stems from the notion that the acting is more alive — it’s direct to the audience, with no re-takes. Hell, even Christina Applegate is making a showing on Broadway.

I’ve always loved GGGR. Ever since first watching the inimitable movie version, I’ve been a fan of this play. I read the original play as well, though having been exposed to the movie, I kept hearing the lines in a certain diction with a specific cast. For me, Shelley Levine will always be Jack Lemon.

What was interesting was to see everyone’s interpretation of the individual characters. Alda’s performance portrayed an even twitchier Levine, and was done with a nervous energy that really brought the character to life — quite believable, and quite real. The over the top anger brought to the stage by Gordon Clapp’s Moss really brought out the disgruntled salesman atmosphere. The way Clapp and Tambor played off each other in the first act was outstanding — perfect sync of lines. Tambor’s insecure and simple-minded George Aaronow was quite convincing and made for the perfect dose of comic relief. I couldn’t get into liking Schreiber’s Richard Roma, however. This was supposed to be a character who was quite likeable the first act, and I just couldn’t get there. On the other hand, acting as the top dog salesman in the second act was outstanding, and was a quite good rendition of a salesman “busting balls,” so to speak. Wopat’s role as James Lingk was a pretty bit part, but came across as quite affable and weak, as intended. I can’t say much about Lage’s Balen, because the character is so minor; it’s hard to get much across as a brusque police detective when you’re on stage for such a short period of time.

Which brings us to Frederick Weller. Weller’s portrayal of John Williamson just didn’t ring through to me. In the first act, Levine is talking to Williamson and constantly uttering a “now wait a second” or “let me finish”. However, Weller’s Williamson isn’t really even trying to get a word in edgewise. On the other hand, when Williamson is in the opposing role, Alda’s Levine does a perfect job trying to interject. Weller uttered the lines accurately, which is about as much good as I can say about his performance. The character lacked life and genuine emotion — perhaps with a few more runs, he can really settle into the character. If Weller can just inject a little emotion into his performances, and really feel the character’s depth, he can improve the flow of the play so much. We understand that you can memorize lines, Mr. Weller. Now, let’s see some acting.

Of course, Alda isn’t without error either. He stumbled on a line in my showing — in the second act, his line is something like, “Put me out of my misery,” to which he got to “Put me out of my m-”. Then, nothing. Five second pause. I felt the awkwardness wash over everyone on stage, as well as through the audience. To his credit, he picked right back up and jumped into the action, but I was thinking we were two seconds away from chaos. What happens if someone forgets their lines and can’t jump back into the flow on Broadway? Do people boo? Do we get a do-over? Does the actor stop and say, “Sorry, let me try that from the top.” That was probably as close to the answer as I’ll ever get.

Overall, the performance was quite enjoyable, if you’re a Mamet sort of fan. The set design was stunning — when the florescent lights kick on in the second set, you’ll believe you’re in an office. Impressive attention to detail went into the set, and that wasn’t unnoticed by myself or the rest of the audience.

In terms of theatrical purity, this was an excellent performance. With such a star-studded cast, I would have liked it if they had worked with David Mamet to rewrite a little bit of the play, and include Alec Baldwin’s character Blake from the movie rendition. Considering the decent casting, I’m sure even purists could appreciate the re-working, especially since Blake’s lines were written by Mamet himself. Blake has the commeasurate sell-or-get-the-fuck-out speech to beat all speeches, and its addition would have brought the play over the top.

Overall, I’d say this is a decent showing, and worth a watch. Perhaps not a must see, but definitely an entertaining way to spend the evening. If you’re in New York and looking for a taste of the brusque language of a David Mamet play, definitely give Glengarry, Glen Ross a try, followed by a discussion over coffee afterwards. Just remember: coffee is for closers only.

What the hell is corn snow? I was checking out a ski report for Sugarloaf in Maine, and saw the following status update:

Sugarloaf USA 0 38-76″ 125/133 6/15 94% Corn Snow

Corn snow was definitely a new one on me. According to one definition, it’s “Coarse, granular wet snow. During the spring and summer diurnal cycle of melting and refreezing the corn snow skiing is at its best in mid to late morning, after a layer has begun to melt but before it is too wet and sloppy.” Basically, it’s snow that melted and refroze to form a strange rough granular consistency.

Ski Magazine has this to say about it:

“It’s the product of a convergence of sun, snow and exposure. And it seems fitting that it shows up each spring, when the weather warms and the clothes come off. Corn snow treats you like your first girlfriend: Everything you do is perfect. With every slight shift of weight you become a world-class racer—every inch the sultan of snow. What skill! What grace! What control! Go ahead, check out your shadow as you jet down the slope. You’ll like what you see.”

Wow, so corn snow is like my first girlfriend, huh. Does this mean my first girlfriend was frigid? Susceptible to changes in temperature?

It apparently sticks to your skis and is also called “salt snow”. Or, as I read on another blog, “My husband says when he was a kid in Vermont, in the days before artificial snowmaking, everybody looked forward to early spring and corn snow, because it was a whole lot better to ski on than ice.”

How exciting that my first girlfriend is better than skiing on ice! I’m still trying to figure out what that means about my first girlfriend or skiing on ice.

I guess the ski season is officially over. *sigh*